Dispatch: 'Bros' on the Jitney; Dapper Dudes at School’s Out; Andy Cohen at Book Hampton
June 12, 2012 | Talk of the Town
Are You a Bro?
Wonderful things have happened on the Jitney over the years. Helen and Tim Schifter met on one. Peter Beard, seated across from me, once drew elephants with thumbprint bodies for my young son.
Last weekend, my 14-year-old son Finbarr and I sat across the aisle from a large, affable young Wall Streeter who was pounding beers. The attendant kindly warned him that drinking is not allowed, but he secretly kept guzzling. In between chugs, he talked loudly on his cell phone, discussing banking projects (that were likely private), drinking games, and a $7,400 a month apartment that he shared with his “bros.” My favorite story was how his roommate used to take a shower in his room every morning, walk through naked, and say, "Sorry" to his naked gal pal. The girl in the scenario asked, "Is he sorry for me being naked or him being naked?" His answer: “He’s not sorry.”
At brunch the next day, I was discussing with Finbarr how to categorize the young boozer for this Dispatch—yuppie, preppy? Finbarr looked at me incredulous that I didn’t know, “Obviously, he’s a bro,” he said. As every other word out of the fellow’s mouth was "bro," the term fit. He was definitely a bro.
That brings me to this question: Are you a bro? Do you…
...have drinking issues?
...express zero interest in the arts?
...call every male except your father "bro"?
...tell stories about nameless female conquests?
...think you know fashion when really you only know major labels and stores?
...count beer pong as your favorite sport?
...talk so loud and objectionably that women don’t even want you to put a ring on it?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above, you’re a bro; and, in the future, please consider taking the train.
Albert Bianchini, Kyle Barisich, Andy Cohen, and T.R. Pescod
School’s Out
That night, after mowing my lawn, Dispatches raced over to School's Out, a benefit for the Hetrick-Martin Institute at the tony Further Lane home of Peter Wilson and Scott Sanders. Hetrick-Martin Institute, at the forefront of gay, transgender, and lesbian issues, is best known as host to the Harvey Milk High School, which caters to youths in those categories.
The rainy weather at last year’s event didn’t allow for the full visual effect of the estate’s fab gardens. A stone pagoda up by the pool overlooks a hill covered with rounded shrubs; it's almost impossible to imagine how the gardeners manicure every centimeter.
Guests of the fête were the direct opposite of bros. The men here were exquisitely dressed and well groomed—lots of bow ties, colorful shirts, and shorts. No socks. Bravo’s Andy Cohen, in a colorful plaid shirt, walked over and gave Dispatches a bro hug.
Later, on my way to catch up with my son at a showing of Prometheus, a kind of prequel to the Alien series, in East Hampton, I spotted a long line at Book Hampton. Cohen was there signing his fun new book, Most Talkative: Stories from the Front Lines of Pop Culture.
Bro: “You’re everywhere!”
—JEFFREY SLONIM
PHOTOGRAPHY BY ADRIEL REBOH/PATRICKMCMULLAN.COM (SCHOOL'S OUT)
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